11 December 2009

Suffering ceases to be suffering the moment it has meaning

So here I am alone in my living room, curled up in a big thick blanket on our couch, facing the Christmas tree, wishing that 1) my husband was with me, 2) wishing I could set the thermostat to above 67 degrees, 3) wishing I didn't have cramps, 4) wishing I had a job that I liked, 5) wishing my design business was successful, 6) wishing my husband could afford to buy new contacts for himself, 7) wishing we had enough money to get one of our cars fixed, 8) wishing we had money for next month's rent, 9)  wishing our survival didn't depend on the costco sized box of chicken-flavored ramen...ugh. Is this really how the first few years of a newlywed's marriage is supposed to be??

The meaning behind it all 

1. I'm all alone...there's no one here beside me. As much as I hate being apart from him, this is a good thing. He is doing what he loves and is performing for the last night of the play "Until Death Do Us Part" and should hopefully get paid tonight.
2. Our thermostat has been condemned to be set at 65 degrees for the month of December. ever since we got our gas bill for last month, we decided we couldn't afford to live in a 70 degree house. The only reason it is at 67 right now is because my husband lovingly gave me permission to set it above 65 while he was gone. :)
3. The joy of being a woman. Well hey, at least I'm not pregnant.
4. Part time job that I swear gives me part-timer's disease. Working in retail is definitely not my first choice in the job field, and I would love to get more than 15 hours a week. It doesn't bring in much money, but it definitely helps. And I get a sweet discount on clothes.  
5. I'm no Donald Trump. I would love to get my business up and running to the point that I have to turn clients down. It's all a learning process, and I'm just in the beginning.
6. Money for contacts. I'm not sure why you can only wear soft contact lenses for a specified time period, but I'm sure it's for a good reason. My husband's contacts only last for two weeks, and pretty sure he has worn the same pair for over a month. I'm not sure what good can come out of this one...but I do get to gaze into his intense baby blues without his glasses being in the way...
7. Cars are a money pit. I'm sure the reason why we can't afford to fix our car right now is because Clayton just needs to spend more time learning how to drive the car with the stick shift. He's gotten so much better already.
8. The most dreaded bill of the month: RENT. Even if we aren't quite sure we'll be able to make the payment next month, I sure am grateful for the moments we have been able to spend together living in this house. I love waking up at odd hours in the morning and watch my husband sleep. I fall in love with him more and more everyday. I love having tickle fights. I love having "pillow talk" every night. I love spending meal time together. I love cuddling up in blankets and watching movies together. I love the fact that I am so blessed to live in this house that protects me from all of the snow! 
9. Ramen is on the bottom of the food pyramid, right? If so, we are definitely getting our 6 - 10 servings of grains daily!!!

1 comment:

  1. Way to stay positive! Just ask for an electric blanket for Christmas - you'll stay warm for sure! And, ramen... May I suggest buying ground beef and frozen veggies to combine in and make a little bit more healthy of a meal for your lovely faces? They are cheap - and can be bought in bulk, DOUBLE bonus! - Katie O.