29 November 2010

Day 13

Day 13 - A letter to someone who has hurt you recently

Dear People That Shop For Things At Places At Which I Work,

I work hard to make your shopping experience enjoyable and memorable. I enjoy making you smile, laugh, and creating magical moments. However, I have noticed our relationship is suffering lately. Just some thoughts and suggestions on how we can improve our relationship:

  • I would suggest that you do not ask me when the 3 o' clock parade is. 
  • Do not give me Canadian currency, or any other foreign currency for that matter. 
  • Do not leave clothing on the floor after you tried it on. I would imagine the next person who uses the fitting room will not appreciate having to change in your pile of clothes. 
  • No you cannot have the item that is on the display, and no, you cannot buy it for extra money, and no, you will care if is damaged.
  • Do not leave clothing unzipped, unbuttoned, un-straightened, un-folded slash destroyed after I just spent an hour straightening things for your visual pleasure.
  • If you let your children run around the store, don't assume we will "keep an eye on them". 
  • If you accidentally break something, it's fine! It happens to everyone. But please let me know.
  • "Can I pay for this here?" No, there is just a cash register here for kicks and giggles.
  • I am sorry that your credit card was declined, but do not blame it on me.
  • I am also sorry that I have retain the credit card you are trying to use - it's not my fault you stole it from someone else.
  • Don't ask me if I work here. No, I just wear the uniform. And I wear the name tag for fun.
  • Realize that asking me the question "Why don't you have this item?" will result in a response you most likely will not want to hear.
  • "Do you have more of this item in the back?" Not every store has "a back" and it is not a magical place where missing sizes and items suddenly appear.
  • If I find an item that you are looking for in "the back", it would be helpful if you didn't disappear.
  • If you disagree with our refund/exchange policy, then shop elsewhere.
  • I understand if you want to check to see if your breakable item is in good condition before purchasing. However, if it is in a thick layer of styrofoam, a heavy cardboard box, and thick layers of tape, it is most likely in great condition.
  • "Hi! How are you doing today?" ".............." "or not...."
  • If we close in the next five minutes, please don't come in.
  • Somedays I complete over 300 transactions in less than 3 hours. If I don't remember what you look like, don't take it personally.
  • "Do you speak spanish?" No, but obviously you know some english, so please speak to me in it.
  • Don't tell me the prices are outrageous. Yes, it was me, a simple cashier, that decided the price of that item.
  • "Are you...busy?" you may ask. "No", I respond; "The flocks of people surrounding my are my fans and  my name is Britney Spears."
  • It's kind of awkward when you are having a conversation on your cell phone when you are checking out. 
  • It's also awkward when you are yelling and screaming at your children telling them that they are in the happiest place on earth and they are ruining your vacation.
Just some thoughts for now...I hope you take them into consideration.

Love Me, Your Merchandise Host

P.S. These reminded me of you...Enjoy 

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