Eye Openers

There has been a lot on my mind lately. First and foremost has been trials and blessings. I try to figure out how these fit into my life on a daily basis. They can be simple trials and simple blessings, such as why I can't keep my house clean or the miracle that I tried a new recipe for dinner and nailed it. The more intense trials and blessings stick with me for a little bit longer and seem to always be in the back of my mind. I constantly think about my schooling and wonder if I will ever finish. I wonder where my family will end up. I wonder what kind of job my husband will work at. I wonder why we've had to move eight times in less than three years. I wonder why money has to be stressful. I wonder why insurance is so difficult. I wonder why it is so hard to stay organized. I compare my failures and struggles to other's successes.

The blessings in my life come to my mind often as well, but maybe not as often as they should. I think about how wonderful my little family is. How grateful I am that I was able to get pregnant. I think about how beautiful and sweet my little baby Zaydree is. I think about how lucky I am to be able to have a successful business doing something that I love. Lucky that I am able to complete some schooling. Lucky to be a wife. Lucky to be a mom. Lucky to live in a place that feels like home. Lucky to have a strong testimony of the gospel. Lucky to be able to live to close to family. Lucky to have such an amazing husband, family, and in-laws. Grateful for my good health and the health of my family. 

Anyone could compare my trials and blessings and probably tell me that my blessings outweigh my trials considerably. And you know what? They are completely right. Any single one of my blessings can give me a label as someone that is "lucky". 

As observed by my husband, I've been on a "read-all-the-sad-things" kick lately. I like to think of them more as "eye-openers". He often catches me reading blogs of those whom I am friends with, acquaintances, or complete strangers. They are usually posts that are explaining particularly difficult hardships and trials. I find that I get pulled into their story and can't help but imagine myself in their situation. Not once have I ever thought while reading these posts, "oh, I could handle that". In fact, it's usually the quite opposite. I cannot imagine having to face so much sorrow and torment. I don't think that I could handle it. I could not handle having a loved one battling death or passing away. I could not handle having a miscarriage. I couldn't handle having major health problems with my baby, my beloved spouse, or myself. I could not handle a divorce. I could not handle so many things that others have to deal with. 

I guess that I am afraid. I am afraid that I haven't had these particular trials and am afraid that one day I will have to face one or even several. Trials that have been set apart by me as only those that happen to other people can certainly happen to me, as I'm sure that others that have been affected thought the same thing. 

I have found comfort in the Savior. I have found comfort in prayer. I have found comfort in the scriptures. 

1 Ne 3:7
7 And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.

1 Cor 10:13
13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God [is] faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear [it]. 

Alma 13:28

28 But that ye would humble yourselves before the Lord, and call on his holy name, and watch and pray continually, that ye may not be tempted above that which ye can bear, and thus be led by the Holy Spirit, becoming humble, meek, submissive, patient, full of love and all long-suffering;

We will never be given a trial that will be more than we can bear. I wonder about these scriptures a lot because I really do feel that if I have to face any of those "unbearable" trials, I won't be able to do it. There is no way. But I do have faith that my Savior will never leave my side. And I do have faith that he can bear some of my burdens that I can't bear, which makes sense to me because I don't know how else I could bear them. While it is hard for me to think about ever having to go through these hardships, and I can't say that I know I will be able to handle them, I know that I am blessed with considerable faith and will be able to have faith that I will be able to make it through with the help of the Savior.

The Birth Story

The week before my due date is when the pains started. They weren't anything major, but they were cramp-like and pretty uncomfortable. A few calls to the doctor led us to find out that I was experiencing an irritable uterus, and my body was simply getting prepared to give birth. I could also feel that the baby had dropped significantly. I had a feeling that this meant I was getting very close to finally meeting my daughter, even though I had many people that believed I would go past my due date. I felt this wasn't the case.

On Saturday, September 22nd, I woke up early to some very painful cramps. With a little help from the internet I found out that I was most likely having contractions. I woke up Clayton and let him know that things were getting serious. We were supposed to go out and celebrate our anniversary that day by going to the Oquirrh Mountain temple and then Clayton was planning something for later. We decided to cancel our plans just in case today was finally baby day. We called our parents to let them know what was going on. We spent the day timing contractions and getting everything ready. The take home outfits were selected, the diaper bag was packed, and our hospital bags were ready to go. I was so excited and felt so ready. My contractions never got close enough or consistent enough as the day progressed, so we decided to risk it and go out to dinner at Red Lobster. Our anniversary is on September 25th, but we were too busy on our actual anniversary so we figured that we would take our (hopefully) last Saturday without a baby to celebrate.

We couldn't help to be somewhat hopeful that maybe something exciting would happen that night. The wait time to be seated at Red Lobster was 45 min, so we decided to egg on the baby by walking around like crazy. We walked over to Kohl's across the street and looked around while we waited. When we finally got seated at our table, we told our waitress to not be surprised if we suddenly up and left cause we might be having our baby that night. She was very excited for us and always asked how I was doing every time she came to check on our table. I had more contractions during dinner, but none of them were close enough together to cause anymore hopefulness.

The next day was Sunday, and instead of church we got to attend the Brigham City Temple dedication at our stake center. Once again, I was feeling contractions but never had the consistency to signify labor. The dedication was wonderful, although I will admit it was a little hard to concentrate on the dedication when all I could think about was BABY BABY BABY BABY. Afterwards, we came home and took naps due to an unrestful night. After our naps we went over to my family's house for family dinner and to feed the ducks at a local pond. While we were at the pond it began to rain and the sky was dark and stormy. We said goodbye to my family and I jokingly told them that was probably the last time they would see me pregnant. Since I wasn't due for another five days, they didn't really believe me. Little did we know... 

It continued to storm and rain that night. Later during night when I was in bed my contractions grew progressively stronger. I was in a lot of pain and was able to time them closer together, but they still were not close enough to signify actual labor. I tried sleeping through the night couldn't sleep for more than a few hours at a time. At 3:00 am I woke up to the worst contractions I had felt so far. Some contractions were 3 mins apart, some were 5, and some were 10 mins. Three minutes was the closest they had ever been, and I knew that 5 mins was a sign of early labor. I timed them at five mins apart for half an hour straight. I couldn't believe it. This was finally it! I decided to wake Clayton up. He immediately awoke when I told him the news.

We starting timing my contractions together for the next two hours. They were so bad that I would have to crouch over and pant heavily to deal with the pain. It was very glamorous. We called our parents to inform them of my condition. Since my doctor's office didn't open until 9:00 am, I called the hospital at 6:00 am to see if I should go in. We were told that we should come in when my contractions were consistently 5 minutes apart, but we could come in now and the worst thing that could happen is that they would send me home. We decided to go in. This was taken right before we left for the hospital.

 We arrived at the hospital around 7:00 am. We left our things in the car and headed up to the fifth floor -- labor and delivery. We checked in and sat in the waiting area for about 15 minutes. I continued to have contractions in the waiting area and felt pretty grateful that we were only joined by one other man. They called us up to the reception desk and then a nurse took us to a delivery room where I would get checked. Feelings of nervousness washed over me as I got dressed in my gown and took my place on the hospital bed. This might be the room where my baby is born. This could be it.

Ten minutes later a nurse came in and checked me. She said that I was at a 4 and 80% effaced. My heart sank because I knew that wasn't a high enough number for them to keep me. She told me that they would keep me for another hour and check to see if I progressed. If I didn't, they would send me home. If I did, they would keep me. She brought us some orange juice while we waited. I tried to sleep but couldn't. Clayton found a cartoon channel on TV, so he was happily entertained for the hour. My mind was busy entertaining the thought of bringing our baby girl into the world that day. It was September 24th and NOT our anniversary, which was the only day that I preferred our baby not be born on, so I was definitely okay if she was born today. I had Clayton email my teachers and call my work to let them know I wasn't coming in today.

After the hour had passed, the nurse came in again and checked my progress. I was still dilated to a 4, so they decided to send us home. We were pretty disappointed. The car ride back home was depressing. Coming home without a baby is not what we were hoping for. We sat at home in anxious anticipation, timing contractions and keeping family members updated. Clayton convinced me to take a shower to try to help relieve some of the pain, and I did so -- best idea ever. I was able to calm down and it actually did help with the pain while I was in there.

The contractions never ceased. They only got worse. We went to the hospital again at 7:00 pm. It was much harder for us to find a parking spot this time. But I knew that this time was it -- we were going to have our baby soon. I could feel it. We checked in and went into a different delivery room this time. I was checked by a nurse and she said that I was at a 7 and was 90% effaced. The nurse said that they were definitely going to keep us and she would notify my obstetrician immediately. FINALLY! I was elated! It was all so real now. This was the day I had waited so long for. Clayton called both sets of parents to let them know the exciting news.

I got pricked and prodded and strapped up. They hooked me up to an IV and strapped a monitoring device on my stomach. The device was monitoring the baby's heartbeat and my contractions. Hearing my baby's heartbeat was one of my favorite things while I was in labor. I wasn't allowed to eat anything  so I sucked on flavored ice chips. I was exhausted from not sleeping all night and day, but I still couldn't fall asleep. I was too excited.

My family and sisters-in-law arrived shortly after they received the news. Our room was flooded with visitors. The company was great even though I didn't have much energy to socialize. Around 9:00 pm, the nurse came in and checked me and asked if I wanted an epidural. My birth plan was to go without an epidural if I thought that I could handle it, but at this point all I wanted was relief from being in pain since 3:00 am. I said yes to the epidural and they called in the anesthesiologist. I was nervous to be administered the drug, but everything went very smoothly. He numbed my back and prepped and then had me lean on Clayton's chest while he stuck the needle in. I felt cold pressure but that was it. I couldn't believe it was so painless. After awhile the medicine started to kick in and my body slowly became numb from my waist down. I could still feel the pressure of the contractions but not the pain -- I was in heaven. It felt so wonderful.

My contractions still weren't getting close enough together so they decided to give me Pitocin to help move the labor along. Not after long I started to get really shaky and nauseous. I threw up several times and continued to shake. Turns out the shaking and queasiness was from the drugs and my body being in labor. That was the worst part of the labor aside from the contractions. As the hours of the day slowly started disappearing, we were less and less hopeful that she would be born on the 24th. It was looking more like she would be born on our anniversary for sure! We couldn't help but just laugh at the odds. She wasn't even due until the 28th, so she was coming early just to spite us. ;)

At 11:30 pm they broke my water and then checked me. I was at a 9! We were so incredibly close. She said the baby was low enough that she could see her head. Clayton asked the nurse if she could tell if our baby had hair. The nurse checked again and said yes, she did have hair! She couldn't tell what color it was though. The mood in our hospital room automatically changed as we realized how close we were to meeting our baby girl. I noticed that my epidural dosage was wearing off and I began to panic. I told the nurse that the epidural was wearing off and she said that I could give myself another dose every half hour. Best news ever! I gave myself doses every half hour religiously and felt much better. I continued to throw up so they gave me some Zofran to help with the nausea. Around 1:30 am is when my contractions really started to get close enough together

A little after 2:00 am Dr. Nance came in and checked me. "Well, you are at a 10 and 100% effaced -- let's have this baby!" I couldn't believe it. Once those magical words came out of his mouth I started to mentally and physically prepare for delivery. I had read earlier that week that a friend of mine had pushed her baby out in four pushes. That was very appealing to me compared to the two hours that my mom spent pushing me out. All I knew is that I was so ready to meet my daughter and I wanted it to be quick.

Dr. Nance geared up for delivery and then I was moved into the birthing position because I was completely numb. Dr. Nance instructed me to push and I did with all my might. I knew which muscles to use and even though I couldn't feel anything, I was doing it right. I was completely in the zone.

Eight minutes and three pushes later, at 2:36 am, Zaydree Lyn was born.

The feelings that overcame me at that moment are indescribable. Never had I felt such a unique, sweet, warm, joyous, spiritual feeling before. It overcame me. Her first cry was so sweet - but short. The nurse immediately placed Zaydree on my chest and I was in complete awe. The first thing I noticed was that she had my eyes - I felt like I was looking at a baby picture of myself. She was so beautiful.

The nurse then took her and weighed and measured her. I remember looking over at her and noticed how dark and curly her hair was. She was 6 pounds 5 ounces and 18 inches long. Just a tiny little thing. Since she was under 8 pounds, I lost the bet that Clayton and I had made prior to her birth. Whoever won got to choose the spelling of her name - Clayton wanted Zaydree and I wanted Zaydrie, but he won the bet, so she was officially Zaydree.

 I then overheard some concerned murmurings from the nurses about her short cries. They kept saying she was having a hard time transitioning to breathing oxygen. Before I knew it, they told me they were taking her to NICU to help her transition to oxygen. Clayton went with them. I felt like a part of me left when they whisked her away. I was going crazy and just wanted to hold my baby again. I didn't get to see her at all in the NICU, but these are the pictures that Clayton took of her.

My heart broke when I saw these pictures afterward. I felt awful that I couldn't be with my baby at that time. Meanwhile while she was still in the NICU, a nurse came and helped move me onto a different bed to take us to our new room. When I tried to hoist myself up, I had the immediate urge to throw up so I quickly grabbed a bag and threw up for about two minutes straight. "I'm so sorry!" I kept telling the nurse between heaves. I wasn't sure why I was so nauseous but I felt so embarrassed that I was puking my guts out in front of her.

Finally the puking ceased and I was able to get helped onto the portable bed. I kept laughing at how numb my legs were. I had zero control. Once I got to my new room, I guess I passed out. I found out later that my nurse came in and tried to explain everything to me but I fell asleep on her. Oops.

Clayton spent all night with his little girl in the NICU and in the nursery.

Many hours later around 6:00 am they finally brought Zaydree back and I got to hold her again (after being woken up). It felt absolutely incredible to be a mommy. I was so humbled. I loved every moment with her.

At 7:00 am, Zaydree's pediatrician came and checked her out to make sure everything was okay. Everything was fine except that he was concerned that he couldn't hear her heartbeat very well. He had her sent to the radiologist so he could get an x-ray of her heart. We didn't hear the results until a few hours later.

Our room phone rang while a nurse was in checking up on us. Clayton answered the phone and then handed it to me. It was Z's doctor, calling with the results of the earlier check up. His voice was serious.

"Malae, I just got the results back from Zaydree's x-ray. It appears that her heart is on the wrong side of her body, and the radiologist believes that also might mean that her liver and kidneys are on the wrong side and possibly may be backwards."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Backwards? On the wrong side of her body? What did this all mean? It seemed like Zaydree was so perfect. How could this have happened????

He continued. "I don't want to worry you, and we aren't sure that this is the case. I am going to have a cardiologist come and look at her condition to find out more and then we can go from there."

I wanted to cry. I thanked him and hung up in shock. I waited until the nurse left to relay the news to Clayton. We were both shocked. We decided not to tell any of our family and visitors about the news until we knew for sure what was going on. It was so hard to keep a smiling face for everyone that came and visited us that day. The uncertainty of the condition of Zaydree was killing us. Zaydree also wasn't eating well, and so we had a lot of concern on our plate.

For most of the day, we didn't know what was going on. Later that evening we finally were visited by the cardiologist. He told us that the radiologist was incorrect about her organs being backwards and on the wrong side of her body, but he was right about her heart. Her heart was not on the left side but rather in the center of her chest under her sternum. He assured us that the placement of her heart would not affect any aspect of her life. However, she did have an atrial septum defect, which means she has a hole between two chambers of her heart. This defect is very common among newborns, especially with girls. He said that the chances were very high that the hole will close on its own in a couple of years. If not, she would have to undergo surgery to fix the hole.

Zaydree's doctor came in later to further explain what everything meant. He said another contributor as to why he couldn't hear her heartbeat very well is that she had fluid in front of her heart that was making it harder to hear, which is normal. He reassured that Zaydree was going to be able to be involved with any physical activities and that she wouldn't be hindered by the placement of her heart or the defect. She would be fine.

This was all music to our ears. We were soooooo relieved.  Everything was going to be fine. The next day our biggest goal was to get Zaydree breastfeeding. I had a lactation specialist come in a few times to help us figure out what we were doing. After awhile, we realized the problem was that Z just wasn't interested in eating. We worked hard that day to get her interested by using glucose water and other methods. Late that afternoon we finally got her to eat. It was wonderful. That meant we finally got to go home as a family!

Here are some more pictures from our stay in the hospital.

Welcome to the world, Zaydree Lyn!

Zaydree Lyn Talley was born on September 25th, 2012 at 2:36am, weighing 6lbs and 5oz and measuring 18in long. She is absolutely perfect. 

Countdown: 2 Weeks

Last week I left the doctor feeling pretty good. I was 37 weeks, I was dilated to a 1 and was 75% effaced. I had only gained a quarter of a pound since my last appointment two weeks prior. The baby was in the right position and was making her way down. The only thing that didn't point to me going into labor soon was that my cervix was still posterior, which means it's facing the wrong way for delivery. Silly cervix.

I was feeling pretty hopeful going into the doctor today. I have had some major abdominal cramping at night time this week which I think were Braxton Hicks, but if not, they still are signs of my body getting ready for labor. My coworkers were making me hopeful today by saying that it looked like the baby had dropped significantly. So, I was expecting to go in to the doctor today and hear some more progress. 

Aaaaaaaaand nothing has changed. Except that I am now 80% effaced and I have finally reached the 25 pound mark. Oh, and my test results came back as positive for Group B strep. It is normal and won't affect me, but it could affect the baby during delivery so I will have to be on an IV with an antibiotic during labor. My cervix is still posterior and I'm still at a 1, so looks like we won't be having this baby anytime sooner than she's due. :(

Can you tell that I am ready to have a baby now?? Amazing what having a baby shower can do. :)

This past week I've been "nesting", which apparently happens to expectant mothers around 38 weeks. It totally exists. I've had a burst of energy this past week and completely got baby Z's room ready. I organized all of her clothes by size and organized everything in her closet and bathroom. We found a super cheap rocker/glider for the nursery, too. Now we have all the furniture we need and most of all the baby things we need. Her room still needs to be decorated, but I'm in the process of getting that done. It's on the back burner since it's not really required to be finished for her to get here.

The baby shower was two weeks ago and it was so awesome! A HUGE thank you to everyone that came and especially to Angela, my mom, Kambrie, and Susan for helping plan it. It went great and lots of people came. My mom went above and beyond with the food and it was soooo good. Baby Z got so spoiled! I can't believe how much stuff babies need. 

Home Stretch

"Basically, you could go into early labor anytime now and we wouldn't try to stop it. We're on the home stretch now."

Why yes, that is exactly what I wanted to hear from my doctor last week. Ha. Hahahaha.

I think that certainly means we are close, don't you??

Today I am exactly 35 weeks and 5 days, meaning that there are

4 weeks and 2 days left (or less...or more)!!!

Woohoo!!! I am feeling more and more prepared as we get closer, thank goooooodness. I've taken a birthing class, not so sure if I wanted to see everything that was shown to me, but at least now I am well informed. VERY WELL informed.

We have set up the crib (HALLELUJAH!!!!) and her dresser. My sweet, sweet husband surprised me when I got home late from a photo shoot this past weekend. He set up the crib and fixed her (our old) dresser and set it up in her room. Not to mention he organized all of her clothes by size! Isn't he the sweetest thing ever? Man, I don't know how I lucked out with such a great guy. Anyway, it is amazing how different her room feels now. It is all so real. We are getting ready to bring a little girl home to that room. Eeeep.

I have also decided on a nursery color scheme. I know, I know, I know. Go ahead, gasp. I am just as surprised. I got major revelation in California when we were attending a church meeting there. This woman was wearing a coral skirt, royal blue shirt, and had a light aqua iPad cover. It was like, a trifecta of perfectness.

Okay...really, spell check? Is trifecta really not a word? This is news to me.

Alright, here's my definition and understanding of trifecta.

Trifecta (n): Three things that come together to create a perfect harmony.

Boom.

Anyway, this trifecta was just screaming at me throughout the entire church lesson, and I just knew that was the color scheme that I've been looking for. It's not only spiritual blessings one can receive from attending church. Haha.

I've been having a hard time incorporating the royal blue, but I will stick to coral and light aqua as my main colors. I imagine the colors coming together like this...

So. In. Love.

Now if only coral and aqua were easier colors to find for baby stuff.....basically, I'm planning on buying a lot of coral and aqua spray paint. Haha.

I can start (yes, start) buying things once we have the baby shower, which is this weekend! Yay! We have finished registering (Target and Walmart, for all those who have been wondering) and are feeling pretty confident about what babies need. They need A LOT of stuff!! It's like they can't fend for themselves or something!

I feel like I'm on an exclamation overload. Sorry, I'm just so excited!!!!

I'm also excited to not be pregnant anymore. Yes, I know, I've heard a million times about how much easier it is to take care of the baby while it is inside than the outside. I realize that! But I'm ready for it. I'm ready to be able to breathe normally again. Yeah, THAT has been the hardest thing for me. I feel like I'm breathing through a tiny little straw, about the size of the ones that come with your Capri Sun. It's the worst during the evenings and when I am trying to sleep, of course. Nothing that I do can make it better, so I just have to deal with it. Last night I woke up about ten different times because I couldn't breathe. And of course, my bladder decided to feel like it was going to explode every single one of those times.
Basically...sleep is hard to come by!

I'm also stoked to be able to fit in all of my clothes again. Also stoked about not being swollen in about every place possible. I've gotten to the point where I can't take off my wedding ring, which is really saying something because normally it is too loose! My feet get so swollen, especially when I do a lot of walking and moving around. Which, unfortunately, is increasing now that I am back in school.

I also can't wait to have a normal restroom routine throughout the day. I seriously feel like I have to go every hour. Sometimes I'll hum, "I Need Thee Every Hour" to the toilet. Don't judge me.

But out of all of those things....I am most excited to become a mommy and welcome a new little soul into our family!!!!!!!!! I can't wait to see what her little personality is like, and what color of hair she has, or if she has any hair, and see her beautiful baby blue eyes. I can't wait to cuddle her and sing to her and teach her all I know about life. I can't wait to watch her become Daddy's little girl (let's face it....we all know it will happen) and watch Clayton and her interact. I can't wait to see what she obsesses over and see what she can't stand. I can't wait to hear her first words, see her first steps, and hear her laugh.
Babies are so gosh dang adorable. I wish she would hurry up. :)

So, what are Clayton and I up to while we are waiting for little baby Z to get here? Well, let me just tell you. We both started school again for the fall. I'm going half time and Clayton is going full time. I am keeping my part time job at the Law School and also doing photography and graphic design on the side (usually on weekends). Clayton is working almost 40 hours a week at Summit High, too. We are keeping REAL busy, people. I'm not really sure how we are going to incorporate having a little baby in the middle of it all, but I think that somehow we will manage. Our lives will just keep getting busier, right? :)

XOXO,

Malae and 19-22 inch, 6 pound cantaloupe baby (who knew those kind of melons existed...?)

Test Results & Nursery Ideas

Looking back at some posts I've realized that I've forgotten to post some things. I officially hit my third trimester July 5th! Wow...I can't believe how close we're getting! At the same time, I feel like I've been pregnant forever. I have been pregnant since February, after all. Phew. What an adventure it has been though. Only 8 weeks and 3 days to go!

A few blog posts ago I asked for advice on exhaustion and how to deal with it. A few of you suggested that I get tested to see if I was anemic. Well, I did and the test results came back negative. Negative for everything, in fact. I'm pretty normal as far as testing goes. I am very happy to have received those results, but I was secretly hoping that there was something else to explain the constant exhaustion. 


I am still exhausted. I am restless at night. I can't sleep through the night either because I need to use the bathroom or the sheer fact that I'm trying to get comfortable with a kicking, punching, squirming watermelon in my belly. I am sore. My back aches. My head aches. I waddle. I can't bend over. I get car sick. My clothes don't fit.


Being pregnant is hard.


But....I wouldn't trade it for the world. 


I am SO blessed. There are so many people in this world that are unable to have children. There are many people that have lost their children. There are many people that have lost their children before they are even born. As of right now, I am not one of those people. My heart aches for them, and I am simply amazed that I am blessed to be able to experience the wonderful miracle of the creation of life. 


What a wonderful responsibility our Heavenly Father has trusted us with. How can I feel inadequate about being a mother when my own Father has given me the ability to raise one of his own children? He knows perfectly how to raise a family, and I have the blessing of his help and guidance. Not even Dr. Phil can give me greater advice than my own Father.  


. . .

Now, onto fun baby stuff! I'm really struggling trying to figure out what color scheme I want the nursery to be. I feel obligated to incorporate pink because, well, I'm having a girl! What if I never have girl again?

I've considered the hip color schemes that are super popular right now, such as grey & yellow, teal & red, etc, but I just can't decide on one that I'm totally in love with. Decisions, decisions, decisions. I come up with color schemes every day for my job, yet this is the most daunting color scheming task I've ever had!

Here are my top picks, but first, here are a couple of things to consider. The crib we have is dark brown wood. The dresser we have is white. The walls are tan. Pretty much everything this little girl owns already is pink. I want to have poms on the ceiling and block letters of her name on the wall. Of course, I want a chandelier, but I don't think we can get away with replacing our light fixture.
Okay, now proceed to look at these and give me ideas.

I love this color scheme. It's unique, airy, and girly. I would use cream, white, light faded pink, tan, and gold. I already have gold lamps and a white dresser that would work perfectly with this color scheme. I love the rustic look of the burlap banner, and I think that making one wouldn't be too hard. I still want to put block letters up of the baby's name either on the wall above the crib or the wall across from the crib. I don't know what color I would paint the letters. I LOVE the poms on the ceiling, but I don't know if I could find those colors of tissue paper...

I love the objects in this picture more than the actual color scheme, but maybe light pink and dark pink would be cute? I've just never been a pink person. Maybe it's the redhead in me, and the thought of mixing pink with my red hair just makes me cringe. I LOVE the ruffled crib skirt, but those are a billion dollars and I don't have a sewing machine or the time to make my own. I also love the suspended poms. I can easily make my own. I also love the letter above the crib. I would rather spell out her entire name though using block letters. We need to figure out how we are spelling her name, first....

I love the coral, green, grey, white and grey. The coral makes it girly enough, I think. My only hesitation with using grey is that our walls are tan and I am not sure how well they would blend together. Basically, I was drawn to this picture because of the cute little framed "Z". :)

This is so classy. I love the blue, pink, white, and gold. Like I said before, I already have gold lamps. I wouldn't be able to paint the walls blue though, so I'm not sure how much I would be able to incorporate blue. Our crib looks just like the one in this picture.

So there you have it. Once I've figured out a scheme then I can finally start buying, registering, making things, and designing baby invites. This is a serious step that I need to take, guys. Help a momma-to-be out.  

29 Weeks & Updates

Many things have changed since my last post! I am no longer terrified out of my mind about having a baby, I have tons of cute things for the baby, and I finally broke and down and bought maternity clothes! Gasp!

Reason why I am not terrified anymore: I told myself to stop worrying and get over it. Yes, a million things can go wrong, and even if they do, it will all be worth it in the end. I definitely have my husband to thank for this. He always knows what to say to make me feel better.

Reason why I went from having 2 things for the baby and now have a ton: My sweet aunts and cousins in Missouri threw me a surprise baby shower while my family was back there to visit last week. Basically, my little girl got spoiled rotten and got the cutest things! Tons of cute clothes, a diaper bag, a blanket, toys, and all sorts of accessories. Also, my uncle Dan bought our girl a cute little John Deere onesie when we visited him at his work. Let me tell you, this baby is going to one stylin' babe when she is born. Check out all the goods:

And look at these little dresses!

They are so fluffy! My sister-in-law Emma wanted to buy our baby the cream one. So she surprised us and did! Thanks Mama Talley! :)

And yes.....I bought maternity clothes. I felt like such an old lady when I went into the maternity store, but I was surprised when I actually found some cute clothes! Even though I only bought a dress and a pair of shorts, I count this as some serious progress. 

I am particularly fond of this little number, which seemingly makes my baby bump disappear all together!

And then I tried this on, looked huge again, laughed and took a picture.

Hey, I'll count it as my 28 weeks pic.

Another big change has happened. I've decided to take classes during the fall semester even though baby girl will be born right smack dab in the middle of it. I am also going to be staying at my job at the law school. I didn't think that I could do it, and I might not be able to, but I'm going to try, dang it! It makes me a little sad because I was really looking forward to being a stay at home mommy with my little girl ALL the time, rather than for most of the time. The good things are that my job is extremely flexible and I am only taking 2 or 3 classes. I think I will be able to handle it. Clayton will be able to watch her while I am gone to class and work because he is mostly taking online classes next semester. 

Baby news:
She is such a little diva already. Clayton and her get in little fights all the time. He will usually start it and nudge her and then she will usually nudge back. They were fighting during church and I had to separate them and tell them to knock it off. This little girl LOVES her space, that's for sure! On our long road trip on the way to Iowa and Missouri she was super divatastic the whole car ride. Getting comfortable in our very un-SUV rental SUV was a chore in it of itself, and sleeping was a whole different ballgame. I found that the most comfortable position for me was folding my arms underneath my chest, which baby girl did NOT like. She would steadily kick at my arms until I moved them. Then she was fine again. Haha. Little punk.

Today I am 29 weeks and the baby is the size of an acorn squash. Yeah, I didn't know what that was either. Here's a visual.

Cool, right?? Man oh man I am exciteddddddd!

Something else that has changed in my pregnancy is that I have finally felt what is called "painful movements". I felt them for the first time yesterday and they definitely live up to their name! Up to this point, little baby girl's kicks and punches really haven't hurt whatsoever. Well, now some of them really hurt. Haha. Oh well, she's running out of room in there. I'd do the same thing. Actually, I probably did. Sorry, mom...

I'm also pretty positive that I experienced my first long Braxton Hicks contraction yesterday. I was confused as to what a Braxton-Hicks contraction even was until I finally felt one. It's basically a practice contraction that your uterus does to get ready for the birthing process. It's not the most pleasurable thing I've ever encountered. 

10 weeks and 4 more days!!! :D